Cali Sober Thoughtfuls

“Telling myself I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana is setting myself up for failure because I am such a black-and-white thinker,” she said. “I had it drilled into my head for so many years that one drink was equivalent to a crack pipe.”
-Demi Lovato-

Singer Demi Lovato announced that she is “California sober.”

“California sober” is an approach to recovery that includes drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis in moderation.


If the term “California sober” hurts your butt, please do us all a favor by taking 100 steps backwards to pull your head out of your ass long enough to retake your OWN DAMN INVENTORY & ask yourself what it is within YOUR own recovery that is so shakeable.

My recovery is unshakable to the third degree… even during the infuriating moments like the one I’m in as I type this, when my heart is so far beyond heavy from feeling & seeing so much hateful judgement within the recovery community where I found my own inner healings & where I know so many others can find theirs.

Who TF are they to say we don’t belong?! Not long ago, I was a homeless junkie smoking crack under the shield of a bridge, & begging strangers to shoot me up with heroin or meth or anything else that killed mind, body, & spirit so slowly; sometimes from dirty needles using the very same puddle water that my dehydrated ass should’ve been scooping up to drink….

I stand today with 5 years (& counting) thriving hard AF through my recovery after spending, not only my own lifetime, but also the lifetimes of my children, chasing a dope life that was GUARANTEED to kill their mother at some point or another…

5 years ago, I gathered the remnants from my broken rock bottom & used them to rebuild a life for my babies & I where turning back is never a possibility. I run a digital support center & spend every day being the expert of my own experience so other’s feel empowered to do so as well.

I did this all on my own… with harm reduction by side & a rebelliously clear head FREE of hypocritical rhetoric from those who so openly discriminate against the healing of their own kind.

I don’t speak about it often cause I’ve been accused of risking people’s lives by standing in my truthful recovery but quite frankly I think my continued silence is a dangerous act in this case anymore….

I never advise other’s to follow in the footsteps of MY recovery, that’s not my job… I’m here to console the one’s who have already taken a similar route… The one’s like me who have been grossly discarded from a select society that for some unholy reason, believes they themselves have a right to judge lives that not even God himself has judged yet.

I’ve been shamed & felt, to the fullest effect; the cascade of toxicity that was birthed from feeling the need to lie about my truth. The simple truth of the matter just IS, that I was able to escape an inescapable sudden death with a tool belt full of harm reduction tactics; including but not limited to, marijuana maintenance.

I know I’ll be ready to advance to the next stage of MY personally defined recovery soon but until then, Hi I’m Amanda & I am a recovered crack/heroin/methamphetamine addict using my own Active Coping plan which INCLUDES, marijuana maintenance, not because you permitted me to be, but simply because I worked my ass off to know so.



From Pain To Purpose
08/12/15
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