The CHRISTmas Spirit

Christmas wreath
By: Momma

As the temperature drops colder & all the leaves have fallen, up go the Christmas trees in preparation for a joyful season of magical reindeers & Old Saint Nick songs playing in every mall.

At least this is how I perceived CHRISTmas to be back in my BC years a many.

I entered this Christmas season on a chilly Sunday evening of tree decorating with my loves as the Pentatonix playlist played on with “Mary, did you know”; serenading the ambiance just right.

I’ve been working hard to learn the story of Jesus & through the process, been made shockingly aware of how out of touch I’ve been with Christmas for 30+ years now.

To be completely honest, I’ve hated Christmas for years. I resent the pressure of the consumer culture & desperately seek ways for my family to experience truthful Christmas joy… 

A few years ago, I gently broke the news to my littles that they’d be donating their Christmas cuts to a nearby family in need.

They weren’t too happy at first 😆 but I held tight to the hope of seeing their rawest forms of Christmas joy be experienced, when Christmas morning rose, bringing the gift of giving to light.

Sure enough, the light I saw be born in their eyes as they excitedly helped their secret Santa recipients unwrap their gifts was worth hearing every pre Christmas whine, they whined.

The last few years have dug a hole in my heart… I’m fully aware of the grief & trauma happening all around me & the lack of control feels paralyzing at times. 

Even the strongest parts of me spend days at a time wondering how the hell we’re still standing… Questioning if survival is possible.

I manage my thoughts & emotions to the best of my ability while always seeking personal & spiritual furthering, but the weight of the world gets too heavy to hold after awhile…

I’m elated to say that I’ve been able to find tremendous relief in setting it down & allowing Jesus to carry us.

It’s never easy & the doubt creeps in to dull the light even still; but I hear His calls every morning when I wake, & deny them no more.

The word Christian feels gross to me for discussions I’ll leave for another day, but the fact of the matter is, He changed the world with His love & I’ll be a forever follower of His teachings till the day I die. 

Finally, Christmas is the most special holiday in existence & it has zero to do with draining my savings.

Jesus was born this day & His life lived, brought me every ability I stand with today… 

His birth nourished my dreams & made way for everything I now know to be beautiful.

His crucified pain transformed into a mankind wide purpose that continues to save us each through every waking day; & does so in the most individual of ways.

Enjoy every blessing received; before, during & after this celebration of Christmas Day. Pay it forward as many times as allowed & have such a Merry Christmas, from my family to yours.

A super special photo dump of this year’s Christmas memories made.

My brother from another, Mike & me!
Baby girlzzz!
My beautiful Momma bear making Thanksgiving dinner!
My love’s!